GHOST!!!!

I now am a believer...that ghosts really exist...sad but true...

I got a fright a few sleeps ago...it wasn't that rad at all... though the nightmares evidently became more vivid...and then there it was.... a real GHOST as so I may say...

The first time I had a nightmare of this sort, I got off from office...I had enough sleep of course, and I was not tired...I arrived at home around 430 am early morning...when i went to bed... around 5am I had a nightmare....though I vaguely remembered the dream, when I woke up from it....the next one actually is the one that puzzled me...someone was holding my head and messing up my hair.... I also heard a deep and fast murmuring of "Llalalalallalalah..."; and I heard that for about 10-15 seconds....when I opened my eyes... red eyes were looking straight at me as his arms were extending to hold my head and just messing up my hair...it was red... i cant see his face but I could really see his eyes...faint but really lighting up like flames... then it swooshed away... to the door... and vanished in the dark....that was just the first time... so I thought..."I'm just tired"..."That's not true! Ghosts do not exist..."
and so I thought...

I told everyone in the house about it...so that if it were really true...if I died of a heart attack then they would really know why...I would not really want to be the next Rico Yan...he's a far relative by the way...We went to his funeral... but that's a different story....A few months came and I just slept since it was my day off and I just felt lazy and slept... I was sleeping in a matress...that's on the floor...my sister was in another bed... just a few feet apart...she was texting someone...but she was looking back at that time... and I could see the light from her cellphone from where I was... but then....there was this sound again...."Llalalalallalalah..."; and when I fully opened up my eyes...I froze looking at it for about 10 seconds....I couldnt speak...I couldnt move... But I can see... It looked like that guy in the picture above.... but with the fiery eyes that I remembered previously though...it was really like looking at red...fire... now he looks like a combination of a zombie and a ghost....half of his body was floating...right through me!!!!!.......He was holding my head with one hand...he was trying to reach also with his other one....I mustered all my strength and tried to shout at my sister while this was happening... I was frightened he was trying to hold my head with the other hand...I don't know why....then I was able to say something...he was then like trying to frighten me....no! Scare me!...but then the only words that I was able to say is... "Oh!Eh ano ngayon?!!" Like I was trying to let him know I wasn't afraid...even if I was.... That was the time I froze again... but then my sister heard it.... she was able to laugh about it at that time not knowing the ordeal I was going through.... That ghost swooshed again and went through the wall..... Disappeared...I was panting hard... then my sister looked back once... then she looked at me again... she noticed I was staring at the wall with fear in my face... goosebumps... I was able to talk to her after that... she said she thought I was already awake coz she can hear me scratching my head/hair at that time... when all along somebody else was... something else was... That was really the time I believed in ghosts.... Now I know they really exist... ( : O ) I'm just telling you so you won't assume things that I did...

Success or not? Maybe...or maybe not!

Its really hard...really hard to keep up with my blog... I've been out of this pile for about 2 months already so I'm kinda rusted... "Wala nang kwenta"....Hahah....
The position I applied for is already mine! So that's that..I should be happy right??? But why am I still unsatisfied? Do I see no future over this ordeal?....What's really weird to understand is that my position seems high already...though if you think about it....Im still not satisfied...Maybe it's the salary?....Maybe it's the people I work with.... Maybe it's the company that I work for....Rubbish to say though some parts of it seem true... I am now waiting if the fruits of my labor would materialize...
I hope they give me a raise... I hope they give me perks...I hope I work less and get paid more...I hope I get somewhere better... I hope I get to move on this feeling of unsatisfactionness... that's if there is such a word....

Weird world....
I hate my hair by the way... Id probably get that straightened out... So I can look good sometimes.... Geeze...when will I be staisfied.... :'( I'll try to tell you somethin about my trip on my next blog post...coz Im not satisfied also about what Im gonna tell you also... Ironic...wuwuwu!

JOY !!!

Geeze... I've been looking for this song for a very long time... I saw this first on Animax but I did not know Yuki also sang it... I did not know her then...but it's a good thing I saw it on youtube...


JOY by YUKI

Itsumo kuchi karade makase bakkari shabetteru
IESU, NOO
Dochira demo nai koto mo aru deshou
Itsudatte sekai wa watashi wo tanoshiku sasete
Itsuka ugoka nakunaru toki made asonde ne
Shakushaku yoyuu de kurashitai
Yakusoku datte mamori tai
Dareka wo aisu koto nante
Hontou wa totemo kantan da

Zuibun tooku made nagare nagarete setsunain desu
Taisetsu na omoida sae wasurete yuki sou desu

*Tashikana kimi ni ai tai
Hyakunen saki mo soba ni itai
Donna ni hanare hanare demo
Futari wo tsunagu jumon wa J.O.Y

Kashi no ki ga yureru hi wa,
Sugu ni omoidashite ne. Watashi wo.

Itsumo kuchi karade makase bakkari shabetteru
Unmei wa hitsuzen janaku guuzen de dekiteru
Itsumade tatte mo wakan nai
Yakusoku datte yaburi tai
Dareka wo aisu koto nante
Tokidoki totemo konnan da

*Repeat

**Shinu made dokidoki shitai wa
Shinu made wakuwaku shitai wa

**Repeat

SOBAKASU Try to sing along with the video!

Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto Hitonadeshite tame iki wo hitotsu Hebi ikkyuu no koi wa migoto ni Kakuzatou to isshoni toketa Mae yori mo motto yaseta mune ni chotto "Chiku" tto sasaru toge ga itai Hoshiuranai mo ate ni naranai wa	I touched those hated freckles lightly and sighed, My "heavy class" love has dissolved clearly Just like a sugarcube. The thorn stuck in my thin breast went in further And hurt much more than before. Astrology didn't predict that at all.
Motto touku made isshoni yuketara nee Ureshikute sore dakede	I wished we could go together farther, It would be joyful enough to...
Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo Sore dake ja onaka ga suku wa Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni Doushite kashira? Ano hito no egao mo omoi dasenai no	Memories are always beautiful, But with only that you can't live. Tonight should be a really sad night, But why? Actually I can't remember his smiling face.
Kowashite naoshite wakatteru noni Sore ga atashi no seikaku dakara Modokashii kimochi de ayafuya no mama de Soredemo ii koi wo shitekita	I understand breaking apart and putting back together Because that's my personality; With impatient feelings and uncertainty Which nevertheless are capable of good love.
Omoikiri aketa hidari mimi no piasu ni wa nee Waraenai episoudo	I pierced my left ear to forget, It's an episode I can't laugh about.
Sobakasu no kazu wo kazoetemiru Yogoretanui gurumi daite Mune wo sasu toge wa kienai kedo Kaeru-chan mo usagi-chan mo Waratte kureru no	Counting up the number of freckles Embracing the spots and all But the thorn piercing my breast won't disappear. My stuffed frog and rabbit Smile and comfort me.
Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo Sore dake ja onaka ga suku no Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni Doushite kashira? Ano hito no namida mo omoi dasenai no? Omoidasenai no Doushitenano?	Memories are always beautiful, But with only that you can't live. It was a really tough night I wonder why though? Why can't I remember that person's tears? I can't remember, Why can't I?

West Coast or East Coast?!

I'm enjoying my sound trippin afternoon here in the office... This nice song... I dunno... It is just a one hit wonder but why am I so addicted to it... Weird..

WESTSIDE

TQ

From the album They Never Saw Me Coming

Year: 1998

This is goin' out To the whole wide Westside Know what I'm sayin'? Yeah Break it down for me Steady Mobbin (Rock) rock on
I was just a young boy livin' in the Up City Eastside Compton, G Back in the days when Ice Cube and Eazy Had every nigga talkin' 'bout, Boy, you can't fuck with me Remember Ice-T had the power (Ooh, wee) Hearin' gunshot lickin' by the hour When Too $hort bumpin' every supersport And taught us all how to ride for the West Coast
To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at Throw your dubs in the air And wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day, every day, any damn day Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on, it don't stop, won't stop Can't stop the rideda That's why I put it down for the Westside
Didn't seem that long ago (Oh, no) We were stealin' forties out the liquor store (Oh, no) Mama started trippin', so it's time to go Out to the park with the locsters Hah, everybody broke smokin' roaches DJ Quik was da shit Had every nigga claimin' he was from the CPT Ya' remember One time tried to clown We had to burn this bitch on down
One time for my niggas in incarceration I blaze a dime with you for havin' lots of patience Two times for my sisters at the county building I got some Westside love for all you ghetto children Three times for my niggas that done passed away I tip some gin for you and pray for better days One day everything's gonna be fine But until that day my only reply Is Westside till I die
To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at Throw your dubs in the air And wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day, every day, any damn day Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on, it don't stop, won't stop Can't stop, you could rideda Got to give it up for the Westside
From Crenshaw to Foothill Boulevard All I see is lowlows in mob cars, datin's and Five stars All the true hoes is hittin' switches with all the finest riches Of course the bombest bitches, don't get it twisted Ask me what's a real G Show me a nigga scrappin' back Against the wall until his knuckles bleed (Knuckles bleed) Screamin' death to all our enemies and those who don't believe West Coast livin' be da shit to me
One time for my niggas in incarceration (Ooh, yeah) I blaze a dime with you for havin' lots of patience Two times for my sisters at the county building I got some love for all you little ghetto children Three times for my niggas that done passed away I tip some gin for you and pray for better days One day everything's gonna be fine But until that day my only reply Is Westside till I die
To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at Throw your dubs in the air Wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day (All day), every day (Every day) Any damn day (Any damn day) Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on (Goin' on and on) It don't stop (And on and on), won't stop Can't stop, you could rideda You got to give it up for the Westside
To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at (Whoa,whoa,whoa) Throw your dubs in the air, wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day, every day (Every day), any damn day (Any damn day) Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on (Goin' on and on) It don't stop (And on and on), won't stop (And on and on), can't stop You could rideda La, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at Throw your dubs in the air Wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day (All day), every day (Every day) Sny damn day (Any damn day) Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on, it don't stop, won't stop Can't stop, you could rideda TQ gon' give it up for the Westside To my peoples, if you wit' me, where you at Throw your dubs in the air Wave 'em like you just don't care From L.A. to the Bay, what you say All day, every day, any damn day Take a look around, we got the whole world locked down Goin' on and on, it don't stop, won't stop Can't stop, you could rideda Got to give it up for the Westside!!!!!

Now what am I to choose?

There seems to be a mixup here...I was confused then about what I would be going as far as my career goes. Now that I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I am now being offered other positions. Now what the hell am I gonna do? On the contrary I would still know that I am currently enjoying my work. How would we be able to choose between the PROS: where I could earn bigger, I could be higer in position and the CONS: where I would be still under operations, mostly getting nowhere but where I am enjoying work. I have decided to go with the latter since that would be preferrable for a guy my age. Hey! Where did I get the idea that I am aging? huh? Well, I dunno really. I don't know what to do right now... I'm just gonna need more time I think and wait and see how far it goes... Hopefully there would still be more room for promotion in the future... Good luck to me I guess!...

Love...a tired one...

You sometimes really get tired of loving... I have given up again on goin back to my same old story... Bein fooled once again... I never really want t do it but it always comes to a point that I have to in order to be happy... At what cost? You really say it is costly. A date nowadays is not that affordable, if you would want to keep your partner happy you would have to think about how yed be able to spend the next day on a different manner to become interesting. These days, it's really not about the sex and how I often have to do it because that would really be not a relationship if I would only be the one who's happy right?! Who's to tell what I have to do, it's not a script at all so you run out of ideas after a while. Like you are burned out at work, the same goes here. I don't really complain a lot but it seems I am again. Well, not much on other people... I usually complain about what I do everyday... Am I complaining now? Yeah...you can say that... I just do this because I am hurt I guess...just loaded myself with tons of work so I wouldn't be grieving over this...this is becoming too pathetic. Go figure!

Hey Mama...Stranded...A real Survivor...

Hey Mama... I'd like to spend this day with you but yer not in Manila ryt now... You have unfinished work in Southern Luzon (Bicol) for the Palarong Pambansa so it's not much of a choice for me to go out later... We'll try our best to keep you happy...Remotely I guess... Try to greet you later if ever your trip back home would be pushing through... We have been eating take out for a few days already and I miss my Mom so bad... What if in the near future my Mom's plan to migrate to Canada pushes through?!! I'd probably end up starving and so will my dad... I know how to cook but I am too lazy to do it. I also would have no time for it also. My work is pretty much getting congested, if I would have no time to go to gym or cook I'd probably get a permanent maid so she can do chores. I hope it won't be too hard for both of us if my Mom leaves again. :( But I'm happy she plans to still go home later by hook or by crook. :)

Gym Rats in the City

Working out! This is what Im gonna spend most of my time now since Im not yet satisfied with my physique. My original plan of getting Vin Diesel's Body in 3 months seem to be a little far fetched. Im trying my best now to do it everyday. If possible, I'll try working out on my day off's. Im worried about my relationships also right now but I think I better get off of them for a while so I can get money first. I have to earn more enough to satisfy my needs. But that is not happening right now. I don't even have enough savings for a trip around asia. Im planning one but it seems it too will take time. I plan to buy a car but where would I be able to park it? In the Philippines, you can probably park it anywhere. Though in my town, it is already on a survey that we have the highest incidents of car theft in the City. It's so near the carnapper's haven "BANAWE" that it would be a joke if you just park your car outside. When you wake up 2mrw you won't have a hub cap, mirror and wheels. Sometimes they get your radio, if out of luck you'll probably never see your car again. So I am really thinking not twice, but a hundred times before I would buy one. Maintenance is hard already, stealing the accessories, then buying a new one is not a good way of getting my money's worth. Instead of being more convenient, I'd be getting more problems. I better wait till Im able to use the Van regularly so I won't waste more money on that. I'd better save it for Europe. I'm off to gym now... to get my belly flat and sculptured! See yah!

WAITING IN VAIN: Not the one by MYMP...

Waiting again... The promotion or next position I've applied for is still not materializing... What the hell is my company doing?!! This is the longest time I've waited since I was able to submit my exams... Geeze... Red tape and the old beaurocracy is still in the Philippines!!! Hail to King Kong!!!
I think it would be better now to probably look for something more.. More economically sound; and something nice to work in... This place has been toxic... very very toxic... I plan to go here if I find a reasonably attractive package but if not then goodbye!!! Hehehe... It's as easy as that but why the hell am I still here?... Friends are also a big part of it... but that's a long shot... I maybe on a stomp because I am afraid to move on and get another job that would be able to satisfy my spending habits. Good deal I haven't tried to get another credit card yet, I would have gotten buried in debt if that was the case.

TOP GUN: I feel like I'm flying today!!!

I wanna fly high now just like in Top Gun. Now I finally have the answer to one of my life's questions. Is it possible for me to be loved? The answer is YES. Last night I popped the question and this love of mine said YES!! When all along I thought she was just playing with me. I thought it was not serious until I just found out last nyt. I am so overwhelmed by happiness right now. I almost fainted when she answered my texts back with the words "I LOVE U TOO" I was not in my own self until early this morning. I had to go to work of course but I'll probably spend the time with her later after working out. I thought it was just a one night thing, but now I seem to believe that there is really something special for me this year. I just have to be patient...really patient in order to acheive my goals in lyf. HAPPY NA PO AKO officially. Right now, I dont really know what to do with the other 3. I think something might come up this week about that, I don't want this happiness to end but it seems to be just around the corner. This should always be my condition. Happy and just chillin... From the depths of our heart we want to be happy all the time, but we are not usually very concerned with the happiness and freedom of others. I'll try to work it out...some other way I hope.

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

Show me the Money!!!

Money makes the world go around... The 4 relationships I have right now is so expensive... I'm still keeping up with these girls but my GOD!!!!!! It costs so much!!! I can't even get a decent date for a few hundred... Its a great thing some of them choose to stay in their house to play with ye mouse!!! Hopefully I'd be in the right mind to maybe take care just a few of them ryt now... The job I just applied for is not materializing yet so I'm keeping my options open ryt now...hopefully I'd get a better salary next time...if not here...somewhere else.... I'll try continuing this tommorrow... I better get to the gym... My beer belly's gettin bigger!!!!

We Now Have A Lift Off !!!! Hooray!!!! Progress Indeed!

Yehey!!!! I now have on hand the application form for the position I'm applying for!! Just came from my email today. Although it includes an exam that I have to accomplish before monday. Hopefully I'd be able to get it done!!... Hope I pass the mark and with flying colors... I try and proof read everything else before posting it for their review. I am not satisfied yet so I plan to maybe edit it also later... geeze... I need to get promoted asap because I am currently drowning in boredom... Either that, or I would probably be looking for another job... elsewhere that is... Need to find a low maintenance, high paying job... I need to take a rest... Hopefully I'd be able to do a better job this time... which is weird... I probably would never thought that this would still push through.... but if in case it does, I'll try my best to move the ladder and perform better this time... Now, where was I... I am currently spending my time wisely on editing my resume and also the exam... It's both technical and common knowledge based so I'd probably be able to do it faster if I am under pressure... I have no more ideas on what to comment about the existing system that we have here because its thorough enough... I think I just need to improve some of the information indicated on the documentations... I'd probably be able to finish this one later... Hopefully... Hopefully.... Hehehe.... I'm glad though that they bothered to email me now... : )

"So Sick"

Well, I don't know what to do with my breaks so I'm just here updating my blog. I really am pissed coz the position I'm applying for is still up for grabs and the damn nitwit is still not giving me any notices. They should at least inform me if they are interested or not. I'm not gonna wait for that the whole year... I hate it when people do that...So sick.. really sick... But if in case that does not push through, I'd probably be able to send and apply some other positions... Hopefully I'd get a better one than that... Geeze... In line with this frustration, I'm gonna post "So Sick" by Ne-yo. This guy has great talent. Nice MTV also. The only problem is I couldnt remember how it sounded like when just looking at the plain lyrics. Hopefully I'd be able to get a copy of his song one of these days. I'm also planning to buy his CD. I'd probably use his song for relaxation... which I plan to do maybe in the next few days. Here goes!!!! Enjoy!!!


"So Sick"
Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone.
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15thBecause since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first childI'm letting go
Turning off the radio
Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?(why can't I turn off the radio?)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Gunbound...am I getting old?!

There are a lot of things that I'm doing today. But I just remembered I had an account in Gunbound that I have never used for quite a while, it was still active though when I logged in on their website. I like that game a lot coz I have a lot of "syotas" as they may say while I was online. You just really cannot refuse to do that. If it were just a dream, then it's okay... I'm still at the lowest level in this game because I refuse to pay for a prepaid card. That should have gotten me a lot of avatars so my character would be jazzed up. Nobody could beat me then. I like the gameplay because it would let you dream a lot about battles even when yer already sleeping...weird huh?!! Just still at the point of getting Gold so I can get my character get the best avatars. Maybe after a few rounds I'd be able to get the Archangel set. That'll take me to higher places. Hopefully... just hopefully.
I'm still not happy with work. Anguish, that is the word I'm trying to digest right now. Hard to get people to understand what I really mean about working here. Geeze... The days are really getting to be a pain in the ****. I'd rather spend more time at home or with my love. Corny huh?!! Hehehe. Go figure! I'm the corniest guy there is! You aint got nobody to match my kung fu!! Haik! But ye know, maybe I'm just getting old that's why I'm not fond of playing online games... wut do you think? Or am I just plain tired? Probably... but what can I do... I'm just a nobody... Goodluck to me!!! Hopefully I'd get more time to play this game before my account expires. Thanks to mobius they're losing lotsa clients...coz the game too is getting too old. I know, I have friends who work there. I bet yah!! :)

Summertime!!! Summertime!!!

Ahhh... April is here and it seems to be that summer is starting... I haven't gone outside the city yet... Nor do I have any plans... Hayyy... maybe later I'll drop by with my loved one and check if we are gonna kiss and make up again...Hehe... Aside from that, I'll probably try and go somewhere else aside from Tagaytay, maybe to a beach with friends... but I doubt that'll happen... they're busy... always busy... What if i just go to the beach alone? Maybe I'd be better off alone enjoying the water... or is that suicidal? I dunno really... Maybe if I go with my folks, that'll be really fun huh?! Or maybe my highschool friends would be a better option... Yeah.. I think that'll be better... Well hopefully I would not be alone, drinking... then end up drowning... something to that extent. Maybe go to somewhere that I've never been before... What was I thinking? I never wanted to go to the beach... Oh my... I dont like the beach...I just like to watch it...not to swim on it coz I never learned to swim really... Why do I always sink when I thought Im supposed to float? Well, I do know how to float but I dont really move that much when I paddle... Geeze... I dunno whatelse to do...go figure! Maybe just go with ummm...and enjoy this person's company... Hehe...

Summer!!!! Wooohohhh!!!!!Summer!!!! Wooohohhh!!!!!Summer!!!! Wooohohhh!!!!!Summer!!!!