Funny article of a Foreigner's journey in the Philippines! ^_^

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I was bloghopping today and started reading this article by a british ex pat that he wrote in 1999. Just see why I did laugh while reading some of it. Its funny that his POV is very candid and very true. This is hard to find with foreigners and how they find the Philippines. I suggest you read on!




Matter of Taste
By Matthew Sutherland

I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full assimilation, which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. Because at that point there will be no turning back.
BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is.
Some people fear "Balut", a delicacy of Filipino decent. I like Penoy though. ^_^

It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the egg comes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile, pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute.
Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat. They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called, in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, merienda ceyna, dinner, bedtime snacks and no-one-saw-me- take-that- cookie-from- the-fridge-so-it- doesn't-count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this game. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute.
Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines:
Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon (food in small container) and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork. You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.
One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go, 'Sir! KAIN TAYO!' ('Let's eat!'). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite response is something like, 'No thanks, I just ate.' But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great!
In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use 'Have you eaten yet?' ('KUMAIN KA NA?') as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location.
Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche (roast pig) feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful.
I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers, sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it! It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely-named 'SOUP NUMBER FIVE' (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG, and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA, which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.
Then there's the small matter of the purple ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating purple food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.
And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog)...
The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food. Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: 'I'm on a seafood diet. 'What's a seafood diet?' 'When I see food, I eat it!'
Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names, like ADIDAS' (chicken's feet); 'KURBATA' (either just chicken's neck, or 'neck and thigh' as in 'neck-tie'); 'WALKMAN' (pigs ears); 'PAL' (chicken wings); HELMET' (chicken head); 'IUD' (chicken intestines), and BETAMAX' (video-cassette- like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.
'A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches'-- (Proverbs 22:1)
WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since. The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say, to lose them.
The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year- olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid.
Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call 'door-bell names'. These are nicknames that sound like -well, doorbells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear.
Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied, 'because my brother is called Bong'. Faultless logic. Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from 'dong' is a slang word for well; perhaps 'talong' is the best Tagalog equivalent.
Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the 'squared' symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.
Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy.
More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy). Note: Baboy means "pig".
Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip). The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver.
That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.
Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the 'composite' name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like Engscowani' (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn , Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)? How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names. Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true?
Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin?
Where else but the Philippines!
Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.







9/11: Done in Silence

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Horrific image of the aftermath of 9/11. Still no sign of Bin Laden. (-_-)"


Tragedies that affected the most powerful nation in the world is a real headline today. Thousands of people affected by these terror and terrorists alike mark the 7th anniversary of September 11 in the US and around the world. President Bush led a White House gathering Thursday in observing a moment of silence. Wife Laura, and Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne stand side by side while a moment of silence was dedicated to the victims and their families. Church bells peeled and was observed at 8:46 a.m. EDT, precisely the moment on that fateful day when terrorists crashed a hijacked airplane into the World Trade Center in New York. A second plane struck the trade center moments later. Another was flown into the Pentagon and still another crashed in a field at Shanksville, Pa. A chorus sang "God Bless America." The assembled crowd numbered in the hundreds and included leaders of Congress, members of the Cabinet, diplomats, men and women in military uniform and chefs, plumbers, ushers and others who work at the White House. A new memorial at the Pentagon was dedicated as the names of the victims were read aloud to mourners there. They all cried. T_T

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama called on Americans to renew "that spirit of service and that sense of common purpose".
With 54 days left in the heated presidential campaign, Thursday was unusual — a sort of political cease-fire in honor of the day terrorists forced four airplanes into the World Trade Center towers in New York City, a field in Shanksville, Pa., and the Pentagon in Washington. Obama and his rival for the presidency, Republican John McCain, were to appear together twice, although briefly each time and mostly without public words. They also agreed to suspend all TV ads critical of each other. In the afternoon, in New York, Obama and McCain were to visit ground zero together for a somber, silent wreath-laying in the pit that marks the largest loss of life in the attacks. How nice of them to do that! ^_^

In the Philippines, short moments of silence were done in the embassy with Ambassador Christy Kenny. I on the other hand just blogged about it because I of all people would never want this to be forgotten. I hope you won't too...







OPRAH SHOW Sept. 9, 2008 : ONLY CHARICE!

The whole show was for Charice Pempengco aka CHARICE, with appearances by Andrea Bocelli,David Foster, Josh Groban and Celine Dion. Watch this young 17yo Filipina girl, as she makes all her dreams come true in the OPRAH Show! (Septmember 9, 2008 Episode)



(NOTE: BEFORE YOU WATCH IT, MUTE THE AUDIO ON MY ROCKYOU PICS ON THE SIDE BY CLICKING THE SMALL SPEAKER ICON ON THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER. ENJOY WATCHING! BUT IF IT DOESN'T PLAY IT MEANS YOUTUBE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN, I'LL UPLOAD IT AGAIN IF EVER AYT?! ^_^)


PART 1



PART 2



PART 3



PART 4




Now after that, aren't you proud to be Filipino? ^_^ I'm sure I was!


Relationships and Heartaches; and I try to help my friends ^_^

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

EMO ako ngayon walang pakelamanan AMPFUFU!
(I'm EMO today don't mess with me!)

I am not a psychiatrist.. nor am I claiming that I am an expert in this field. I'm really not. But in my own sweet time, I try to help others cope with their dilemma. I have a colorful lovelife... some of them even are published in this blog but then again who cares! (NO!!!! don't even try to look for my love problems in the archives silly you!)

I try and help my friends whenever I can about their problems, (no not FINANCIAL ones!, I am not that rich...where did you get that idea?! sheesh!) and I've been like that for ages... I mean even in high school I was one of the few people you can run to and analyze things detrimental with matters of the heart. As corny as it sounds, I've loved and only share what I know works for me.Friends give me problems really... ^_^


These past few weeks, it seems to me that my friends are all in a ditch... rushing to me and ask about what they want to do with their own corny Love matters:

CASE # 1 FALLING OUT

Things were so nice when it started, Johndoe and his girlfriend Janedoe had a pretty nice relationship. They were inlove I guess. Johndoe just came from an OFF and ON relationship, he ended that and started this one with Janedoe. They had done it as well... a couple of times... I knew about it then coz Johndoe kept on bragging about it when we had a chance to talk...then a few weeks after... he messaged me and told me it was FAILING... why? he had a couple of reasons... but out of everything that he said... one thing was evidently happening... he was falling out of love for her... I did ask him why but all he said was... it was not like what it was.. (that was a lot of was O_O)... it just ain't working out anymore... he wanted to let go.... I told him not to do so... why? Janedoe#1 was not in the position to just let go of everything... she was madly inlove with him still... she ended up cursing him a couple of times... because of course as much as we "men" want to clean about breakups... we need a valid reason to tell women and not just "because we want to"... I only told him that the relationship that they had was not to be taken lightly... more so that the girl was already madly inlove... she will be hurt... I asked the guy to at least try to work it out and talk to her once more... he was pessimistic... and still opted for a breakup... but then again I instilled to him to be at least aware of the girl's feelings... try... at least try.... if it still ends up bad, then decide if it really is worth it to let go.... at least they both won't have the feeling of regret if ever things really do not work out with them both... at least they tried their best... a couple of months worth of a relationship is a BIG DEAL nowadays... I mean its not that common anymore that people stay a week or less than that LOLZ.... and I tried to tell him make amends and if things still went KAPUT! they would end up friends instead of hating each other because the other did not do their job keeping it... I btw kept it a point to at least end up friends with my ex's... we live in a small world! we'll bump into each other one day and at least they won't tell me I did not do my best saving the relationship... now isn't that neat?! ^_^ I'll be hearing from them soon I guess... if things did not work out... I'll let you know.


CASE #2 KUNG FU FIGHTING

This was my Ex's bestfriend... which I ended up being friends with... yeah I'm that friendly I guess but really that's part of the job to at least get to know your wifey's set of friends. Now back to him... this guy was in a couple of relationships in the past that did not really last... some only lasted weeks... months.... and now this one became serious... they were already together in an apartment... just living in.... and the trend was.. this was the most serious of all of them... I mean who on eart would not wish of someone you could end up forever with... well.. he thought it was forever...

So when they lived together... as expected... their own set of skeletons and demons went out of their closets and said hi and hello to both of them... and what used to be perfect and blissful in the beggining became a HELLHOLE after almost a year... their fights? it just became almost everyday... the former I LOVE YOU'S.... became I'LL SLAP YOU's... and what's worst is that... they both do it...funny as it sounds but it looks like a Kung Fu movie in their house.. threats here and there... slaps, words thrown at each other... blocks... pots pans and dinner plates flying across the room... (remeber house of flying daggers? ^_^ ) something they thought was forever... is now a big NIGHTMARE... yeah it is bound to end.

He asked me that he changed so they would both be happy... that it was not like him to just stand around and fight with someone every single day... telling me he wants to leave her already... its a good thing they didnt have a kid otherwise it would be more complicated I said.. I told him since it seems that its not working out, and they are already hurting each other he has to decide to end it all. He has the option to try and save it, but he was really not optimistic either. I said "You already know what to do...why ask me?!"... he said thanks that "it just became clear to him". So they'll probably talk this evening about it and make steps to out of each others nerves from hereon.

CASE #3 PROFESSIONAL LOVERS

Two people fell inlove... from the same group of friends where I was also included ended a few weeks ago. A Nurse and a Pharmacist which is an unlikely combination (coz in my mind if they live together the house would probably look like a hospital O_O) the guy (the Nurse) fell inlove with the latter (the pharmacist)... and so they did end up together... had done it as well... but things were not that great after a few weeks... The pharmacist who recently passed the board exams got a job as a med rep for a very reputable company... the nurse on the other hand wished to live and work abroad so he was fixing his papers already... both were busy... and on times that they only could meet, it rarely happened... because of schedule constraints. They ran out of time for each other... and small things, like going out with other friends and appointments became a BIG DEAL. They barely had time for each other yet the nurse was still going out with other people at times expected to be spent with the pharmacist. The pharmacist went ahead of the game and asked to temporarily give time off... a COOL OFF period as locally known here... but then the Nurse did not like that idea.... small fights here and there.... then they formally separated... I only still asked them to be friends... yes its ironic... but I wanted them to... since we are in the same group, I'd rather have them acknowledge each other.... have that be left behind... adn continue on this time as friends... now they are and even joking about it... I am happy this one ended this way. ^_^


So you see, I am not an expert.... but then again I try my best to fix things that are still feasible to fix... they ask my opinion, I just give them what I need them to hear... and not sugarcoat every word uttered off of my mouth... I'm happy some ended nicely.... and hopeful that the others will still be the same... after all... I'm just here for all of them... I'm a friend and I'd like to continue to be one. ^_^